


It's More Complicated than That

by Jane1998



Category: Chicago Fire
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-10
Updated: 2021-02-22
Packaged: 2021-03-14 03:35:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 16,306
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28664043
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jane1998/pseuds/Jane1998
Summary: "I guess I knew you were still in love with Gabby all along so this is on me""It's more complicated than that"What exactly could be more complicated than still being in love with your ex?
Relationships: Sylvie Brett/Matthew Casey
Comments: 65
Kudos: 103





	1. Strikes a chord

**Author's Note:**

> Ok, so first things first, I'm new to this platform, so bare with me if I do something wrong as I'm still getting the hang of it rsrsrs 
> 
> Now a quick disclaimer about this story: if you’re a fan of Gabby Dawson, as in you really really like her, maybe skip this one. There’s nothing offensive to her directly, but she’s kinda the bad guy here. *Kinda*. I do not like Gabby, but it has nothing to do with Brettsey. Everyone who knows me can attest to the fact that I never liked her, not from day 1. In spite of that, I am not trying to offend anyone nor pick a fight, so please, if you think this might upset you, just skip ahead.
> 
> With that being said, I’ve been cooking up this theory that maybe Matt knows something we don’t, which is what prompted him to act the way he did at the end of 9x02. I mean, what could be a reason for him not to be sure he’d leave that is more complicated then still being in love with his ex? Here’s a possibility in form of a cigar chat. Enjoy!
> 
> Ps: just in case it isn't clear, this takes place during 9x03, but I wrote it before the sneak peeks came out, so it isn't an exact match to what we know about the ep so far. Also, I'm pretty sure the stuff with Engine 40 happens only on 9x04, but I decided to bring it up sooner. Lastly, quick side note, English is not my first language so be gentle if you spot any mistakes rsrsrs

Matt Casey is so ready to collapse in his quarters when they finally catch a break. Jeez, what a crazy shift. He almost fell off the areal ladder, a car blew up on his face, another one did the same to Severide – which apparently turned out to be arson - and they've just now hit the halfway mark. Not to mention, of course, having to watch that stupid lieutenant from engine 40 flirting with a certain paramedic and then having to help said lieutenant resolve some issues in his firehouse.

And don't even get him started on the paramedic. None of the things that happened today would have been so bad or exausting if things were ok with her. But they aren't, thanks to him and his cursed love life.

He had tried talking to her earlier, right after the first car-blowing-on-someone's-face experience of the day (his own, that is). Didn't fix things but didn't make them worse either. And she did agree to talk off shift so that's a win, he guesses. Not that he knows how to even begin to explain things to her.

He walks into his quarters, eager for at least a few minutes of rest before the bells go up again, but an object sitting on his desk draws his attention. This wasn't here before. Casey stares confused at it for a few seconds, and then walks over to Severide's quarters.

\- I thought you said "get it resolved first". – He holds up a cigar as he speaks. It isn't a question, but it sounds like one.

\- I might be dead by then. – Severide does not stop or look up from his paperwork as he answers, his tone of voice completely neutral – Meet you outside in two.

Casey doesn't argue, for the simple reason that he can't. It is true. Severide might actually be dead and buried by the time he manages to get his shit together when it comes to women. _If_ that ever happens.

Because of Covid-19 restrictions, 51 has had to keep their doors shut, so he and his friend head to the bench just outside the firehouse, jackets and beanies on. The night is calm and chilly.

Well, if he's not getting the rest he so longed for, then he's not wasting time either. He spills it all out the minute the cigars are lit.

\- Damn – Kelly's first reaction is exactly what Matt thought it would be – what did you say then?

\- That it was more complicated than that. She kicked me out shortly after. Not that I blame her. I would have kicked myself out.

\- Is it? – Kelly asks.

\- Is it what?

\- More complicated than that. Is it?

Casey takes a long drag on his cigar before answering.

\- Dawson is pregnant.

Kelly frowns his forehead and lets his head fall forward a little bit. So it is indeed more complicated than that. _Way_ more complicated than that.

\- I thought you said you hadn't talk to her in months.

\- And I haven't – Matt chuckles ironically and Kelly can feel the anger and bitterness on his friend's tone of voice – I got a call from her brother a couple of months after she left. Said that she was pregnant with my kid but didn't want me to know until it was born because I wouldn't be supportive, considering that she is in another country and still has that aneurism, but he thought I should know.

This time Kelly is the one who chuckles. He knows it's not the most appropriate reaction, but it is all he can manage. It truly sounds funny to him that after all those years Matt did literally nothing but support her, Dawson would actually expect any less of him.

\- Ok, this is probably the least of anyone's concerns right now, but I gotta ask: what condom did you use?!

Kelly was trying to light things up a little, but his question seemed to somehow turn Casey's expression and voice even bitter and angrier. What the hell happened?

\- Funny you should mention it – he begins to explain after another drag – you see, we didn't use one. Sleeping with her wasn't in my plans for that night, so I didn't have one on me. We went back to her hotel room and when I mentioned it to her, she said we didn't need one because she was on the pill. Now I get that nothing is 100% effective, and I would have peacefully written this down as a needle in a haystack type of accident, were it not for the fact that when Antonio called to break the news, at some point he said he keeps telling Gabby the pill is safer than condoms, but she always says it isn't worth the mess it would make on her body, not to mention it is useless against STDs.

Holy crap. Holy _freaking_ crap.

Much like Matt, Kelly is a man of few words. But right now, he's got absolutely none. He merely stares in shock at Casey, letting his eyes speak for himself.

\- I'd prefer to think that this is all one big misunderstanding and that she did not deliberately lie to me that night, but it is really hard to give her the benefit of the doubt when she didn't even want me to know about the pregnancy in the first place! – Casey continues, now fully on pissed off mode – Now there are all of these big decisions that have to be made that, what? She's just going to decide on her own?! She's going to name the baby that is half mine on her own?! She's going to figure out how this international parenting thing is going to work on her own and then send me a memo? That is if she even wants me to be part of the parenting. And even if she does, then what? I am supposed to choose between seeing my child twice a year or leaving behind everything and everyone that I love here?! Because I doubt she would ever even consider moving herself – his eyes are wide open, but the light in them is turned off, and his jaw is clenched every time he's not speaking, in the most typical furious Matt Casey expression – I swear I never wanted to make her the bad guy in all of this, but this right here is exactly the kind of crap that was always the Achille's heel of our relationship. It's what prompted her to leave in the first place, but I know now that even if she had stayed, the outcome would have been the same, exactly because of things like _this_.

Kelly sights after his friend finishes venting out, feeling tired and sorry for him but still not sure what to say. Gabriela Dawson was and still is a great paramedic, firefighter and his close friend. But if he didn't like Matt's ex-wife before, he certainly hasn't warmed up to her now. And when it comes to her, this does not sound at all out of character. If anything, it strikes an old, busted chord. It isn't the first time he witnesses Matt being the last one in on whatever she had going on in her life, although she had never hid something this big from him before.

\- Why didn't you tell me?

\- When I learned about all of this, Sylvie had a lot on her plate, and I didn't want to push her away nor give her on more thing to think about. But it didn't feel right to tell anyone else before telling her, so I just kept my mouth shut.

This time, Kelly displays his very best shit-eating grin.

\- What? – Casey asks, noticing Severide's expression.

\- Nothing, it's just… sometimes I forget you and Brett are just friends and not an old married couple. You really do love her, don't you?

Casey's expression softens at the mere thought of Sylvie.

\- She's everything I've ever wanted. I honestly didn't believe someone like her could actually exist. So yes, I really do love her, which is why she has to know this has nothing to do with me still being in love with Dawson. It never did.

So _that_ is why he was so hesitant to move things forward with Brett, even after they had gotten so close. Severide does the math pretty quickly. When she came back from Fowlerton, she had just broken off an engagement and needed time. That's fair. But when it looked like she might be ready again, that what's-his-name social worker guy showed up. Then Dawson came back. And then, based on what Matt just said, it all went further south with the news from the baby coming in right about the time all that business went down with Brett's biological mother, and, as he said, he didn't want to overwhelm her nor push her away, but also didn't feel like it was fair to take the next step before giving her the full picture of what she was getting herself into.

It makes sense now.

\- I'm all in. – Matt continues, his voice now the very definition of bittersweet - I'm pretty sure this whole thing is going to push her away for good, but I need her to know at least that. I'm all in.

\- I don't know Matt – Kelly ponders over his friend's words – When Brett asked you about Dawson, I don't think she was being respectful to a friend she's barely talked to in the last two years, I think she was putting herself first. Took her a while but she's starting to grasp the concept. She might be willing to go through this mess with you once she knows it doesn't change how you feel about her. She's tough.

\- I know she is. But that might also be the very reason she decides to pass.

\- Would you?

\- Would I what?

\- If it was the other way around - say she had gotten pregnant in Fowlerton, and you guys got together when she came back. Would you have let her go because of that?

\- Of course not! – Casey's answer is almost automatic – It would have complicated things even more, sure, but I wouldn't go anywhere.

\- That's what I thought - Kelly smiles - You see the thing with you and Sylvie is that you're pretty much the same person in opposite sexes.

Casey quirks a brown at his friend.

\- Because we're… blonde?

\- Yeah sure - Kelly stares at him annoyedly - but also because you two are the biggest selfless idiots I have ever met. From the stupidest things like knowing you're way around tools and being into construction / renovation stuff, to the more serious things like wanting a real partner instead of a relationship in which you're playing catch up all the time – Kelly tried, but he couldn't help a little diss at Dawson (and at Kyle too, for that matter) – It is probably the reason why you already fit together without even trying that much. So if you ask me, there's a good chance she'll react the same way you would.

\- God I hope you're right. – Casey sights, emotionally and physically tired.

Matt and Kelly remain quite for a moment.

\- Ok – Kelly adjusts himself on the bench and takes another drag – let's play pretend for a little while. If this situation could turn out exactly like you wanted it too, what would that look like?

Casey groans.

\- I can't do that Kelly, I can't play those what ifs in my head and then go back to a reality in which they are completely impossible.

\- Just humor me, come on. Would that picture perfect scenario involve Sylvie? - Severide asks rhetorically.

Now Casey stares annoyedly at his friend.

\- Have you not been listening to me? Of course it would!

\- I'm just making sure you're listening to yourself – Kelly assumes his lieutenant tone of voice – In which case right now, your first job is to make that perfectly clear to her and then give her time and space to think about it. If she needs either one, that is. Once she's made up her mind, you take it from there. Figure out how to handle this together.

Casey stares at him, and incredulous expression on his face.

\- What if she doesn't want to handle it together? What then?

\- I'll buy you another pack – Kelly answers lightly, referring to the cigars.

Casey lets out a laugh as he blows a cloud of smoke into the air.

\- Thanks, lieutenant – he says, smiling fondly at his friend.

\- Anytime. Now get your butt to work, captain.– Kelly answers back, and they both chuckle.

As they head back inside 51, Casey feels like the weight of the world gave his shoulder a little break. He is unsure of a lot of things right now, but there is one thing he has no doubt of: whatever way this plays out, he won't go through any of it alone. Ever.


	2. Oh, pickles

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Out of all the things Sylvie Brett expected to hear from Matt Casey in this particular conversation, “Gabby is pregnant” was definitively not one of them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m not exactly sure how far this storyline is going to go, but I’ll keep writing as long as it keeps coming to me. I have an idea of where it’s going, but nothing is set in stone, which is exciting for me at least. I hope you enjoy it! And thank you for all your comments! Keep’em coming :D

\- Uau. That's… hum… how far along did you say she was again?

\- Third trimester. A-around thirty-two weeks.

\- Thirty-two weeks. Right. So, quite far.

\- Yeap.

Out of all the things Sylvie Brett expected to hear from Matt Casey in this particular conversation, "Gabby is pregnant" was definitively not one of them. If she's being honest, when he offered to cook her breakfast so they could talk in private without worrying about anyone but especially the bells interrupting them, she had no idea what to expect.

Their conversation in his office earlier on shift hadn't changed anything from her perspective, but then again, what the hell did she know? If Matt was referencing this baby and not his feelings for Gabby back in his quarters then there might be a "regardless of Gabby" after all. She mentally gives thanks that he decided to spit it out off shift though, because this is one piece of information that is going to keep her from concentrating on anything else for a hot minute.

Sitting across from him at the table in her kitchen area, Sylvie takes Matt's phone in her hands and scrolls through the ultrasound pictures Antonio – of all people - e-mailed him, observing them carefully.

\- Do you, hum… do you know if it is a boy or a girl? – she asks quietly.

\- Yes, boy, it is a boy. At first the doctors thought it was a girl, but by the next ultrasound appointment he had switched positions, and they could clearly see it was a boy.

Sylvie smiles faintly, as does Casey, and she focuses her eyes on the images on the screen again, thinking that they are as blurred as the real-life situation they correspond to. She scrolls further to the most recent one, in which the form of a baby is more distinguishable. It is a boy. Casey has a son. Will have. Has. With Gabby. Ok, that much is clear. The sharp stabbing pain she feels in her heart at the thought of that is also pretty clear. Anything else, including why this hurts her as much as it does, remains as foggy as the fires they respond too.

Is she being selfish? Shouldn't she be happy for him? That is, them? Gabby is still her friend, right? Sure, given what the circumstances in which the child has been conceived seem to look like she supposes it is no crime - and maybe even natural - to be a little, what is the word, bothered? But she doesn't hate Gabby. She couldn't. Could she?

\- D-does he have a name yet? – she doesn't look at Casey as she asks.

\- I don't think so, no. Or if he has, Antonio hasn't heard about it yet. - Matt figured Sylvie would have a lot of questions. He himself has too, and not that many answers yet.

The high-pitched sound of the toaster calls their attention, and Casey gets up to get their bagels.

Ugh. When, how did things get this complicated? Here he is, telling the woman he loves that his ex-wife, a.k.a. her ex-partner and best-friend, is pregnant with his child, but he only found out about it through his former brother-in-law, who also happens to be said woman's ex-boyfriend. Jesus Christ.

Casey sets the bagels on the table between them, but he's not all that hungry anymore. Apparently, neither is Sylvie. She puts the phone down and stares at the plate in front of her vaguely.

\- So… what now? I mean, what are you going to do?

Casey sights and turns the palm of both his hands up, gesturing resignation.

\- I don't think there's anything I can do until the baby is born. Antonio made me promise I wouldn't reach out to Gabby before she did to me, otherwise he'd stop giving me updates on the baby. I don't know how she'd react so I'm not taking any chances.

\- Makes sense. I mean, I understand. Your decision, that is, I-I understand your decision. – Sylvie quickly corrects herself. None of it makes any sense whatsoever, neither does she understand much of anything. Judging by the look on Casey's eyes, he's just about as confused as she is.

There's one particular point though that she really doesn't understand.

\- So, she didn't tell you... because she thought you wouldn't be on board?

\- That's what she told Antonio, but I don't know, maybe she just didn't want to admit she lied to me that night – he answers bitterly.

Sylvie shakes her head softly in disagreement. She does not buy this excuse for a second.

\- I don't know Matt. I mean, none of this sounds like Gabby. Maybe she just said that to Antonio to get him off her case about telling you – Casey knows as well as she does how unbelievably stubborn a Dawson can be when they set their minds on something. Plus, he remembers to this day the scold he got from Antonio about the Loui situation, which came as a result of Gabby not telling him the full story, most likely not to get scolded herself, so Sylvie might have a point there.

\- When you say it doesn't sound like her, are you talking about your former partner or my ex-wife? Because there is a difference.

This probably should have occurred to her sooner, but she only now realizes that the picture-perfect idea she'd cultivated of what their relationship was like had been based solely on Dawson's version of every moment they lived through, good or bad. Judging by Casey's tone of voice and comment, maybe it wasn't all that perfect from where he was standing.

– Doesn't matter – she insists, but kindly - I really don't think that is why she decided to keep this from you. Maybe she just didn't want to give you one more thing to worry about.

Casey scoffs.

\- She didn't seem to have a problem with that last time. Why would that be a problem now?

Sylvie's bewildered eyes crash with Casey's, and he frowns his forehead at the question in them. Last time?

\- She didn't tell you?

\- Tell me what?

\- The reason why she left in the first place, or at least part of it. The fight we had? - Casey looks at her expectantly – the aneurism?

\- The what?!

Sylvie could not be more in the dark as to whatever it is Casey is talking about, but if it involves an aneurism and a fight it is clearly not good.

\- Gabby developed an aneurism due to that abdominal pregnancy she had all those years ago. The doctors said she shouldn't attempt at another pregnancy because it could potentially be fatal for her, and I agreed with them, but she didn't, and it led to a big fight just before she left for the first two weeks.

\- And she still has this aneurism? – it is almost a rhetorical question, but she has to ask. She has to make sure he's telling her what she thinks he's telling her.

Casey sights before answering. He knows exactly what thoughts are about to flood Sylvie's mind, and he wishes he could stop them. He's had those thoughts himself, and he did not like them. In fact, he's been avoiding those thoughts like the plague.

\- Last I heard, yes.

Sylvie's eyes shut down for a moment as his words sink in.

The situation was delicate as it was, but now she can't even find a word to describe it. The air between them gets heavier as the biggest question hangs in it, the one neither of them have the guts to ask out loud. What if Gabby doesn't make it?

They stay quiet for a moment, poking their breakfasts and occasionally eating a bite, more because they need to rather than want to, and the scratching sound of cutlery against plates is the loudest - and only – sound on the apartment for a little while. They've had a lot of awkward interactions before, especially as of late, but this is an entirely new level for both of them.

Matt is tempted to ask Sylvie to say something, anything, but he knows she needs time for processing, and he knows better than to put any pressure on her. Everything she just learnt in the last few minutes he's known for months now, and he's not quite sure he has processed all of it. He can't read her mind, but her expression is a good hint at how chaotic things must be in there.

As much as he doesn't want to overwhelm her, there's one more thing he needs to tell her. One more thing she might need to add to the very long list of things she needs to think about, so he might as well just say it.

\- Look, I understand this is a lot to digest, but there's one more thing I need you to know.

He clears he's throat before continuing, and she looks up at him, scared of whatever it is he could possibly still have left to say.

\- This baby is the only reason I didn't say no to your question the other night – Matt speaks slowly, emphasizing the word "only" - I promise you that. There is no other scenario in which I would leave Chicago if Gabby asked me to, and even if she did ask me to go, for _him_ , I-I wouldn't be sure what to do. – he pauses for a second, and she's convinced he's going to draw a whole on her face if he keeps starring at her like this. She's also convinced he'd walk through hell if it was for his son, but he drops the next bomb on her before she has time to remark on that.

– I'm not in love with her. Haven't been for a long time. I'm in love with _you_.

Oh, pickles.

Oh, holy _freaking_ pickles.

Ok, there's something else she did not expect to hear right now. Is it too early for a glass of rosé? Or maybe a bottle?

\- And I really, _really_ don't want to do this without you – he continues – but I understand if you don't want to be a part of it. I just… I wanted you to make an informed decision.

Sylvie sights. This conversation has her feeling the physical tiredness of a spinning class she never took.

\- You have no idea how much I've wanted to hear you say that to me – she admits timidly and chuckles, her cheeks blushing a little.

\- I'm sorry I didn't say it sooner – he stretches his arms across the table and wraps her hands in his.

As much as she wants to, right now is not the time to dwell on the magnitude of this specific statement, so she forces the butterflies it gives her stomach to stop flying and continues.

\- And you know I'm in love with you too – she tightens the grip on his hands – it's just that right now, I'm not sure where, o-or even _if_ I fit into all of this – she takes a deep breath - I just need time. And a little space - at those words, she lets go of his hands, even if against her primary instincts.

Matt gets it. It doesn't prevent his heart from breaking a little nor his eyes from starring at her like a lost puppy, but he gets it.

– But – she continues, much to his contentment. This is the good kind of "but", he can feel it - I don't want you to do this without me either. You've been there for me through so much, it wouldn't be fair. So, I will be here for you. I _want_ to be here for you – she quickly adds, predicting he's about to say "you don't have to" - One way or another.

The lost puppy expression is replaced by a happy and hopeful beam, and she could swear she sees the gray blue in his eyes light up a shade.

\- You can have as much time and space as you need to figure out which way is that – he pauses and smirks at her – although hopefully… not too much space.

They both smiles softly, and Sylvie walks over to the microwave to heat up their coffee.

It's not what he wants but given that he first thought she wasn't even going to consider getting on board, it is good enough for now. Heck, she said she'd be there anyway, it is great enough for now. For now.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I do know that this Matt Casey is a bit more emotionally mature and well resolved than the one on the show (at least that's what it feels like to me) but well, it is my fanfic rsrsrsrs so I guess that is ok, right? Speaking of, Chicago Wednesday is back TODAY (if everything goes according to plan lol) YAY!


	3. Mercury is in retrograde

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok, so this chapter is a little bit longer than the previous ones, but a) I’m not planning on making the chapters all the same length, as I think they should be as long as necessary for that specific part of the story (hope that’s ok) and b) it wasn’t my fault. These two wouldn’t shut up! hahaha enjoy!

Matt leaves Sylvie’s place shortly after breakfast to go check on a construction gig (and to give her the time and space they talked about) and as soon as he does, Sylvie feels a wave of guilt washing over her. Matt looked genuinely happy when she said she’d be there for him, and she wants to, but what if she can’t? What if this is too much for her? After all, last time she had a divorced man and his son in her life…

“Stop” Sylvie interrupts her own thoughts. They might have had the same last name, but Gabby isn’t Laura. There’s no way Gabby would ever treat her the way Laura did. Right? And Matt sure as hell isn’t Antonio, so things will be different on that front too. They have to be, because that’s not an experience she’d like to have twice.

The memory of Laura Dawson marching into the firehouse fills her mind for a moment. Sylvie had been accused of being blonde before, but never like that, in front of her boyfriend’s son, in front of 51… oh, God. 51. Sylvie’s eyes shut for a moment as her co-workers’ faces invade her thoughts.

How would they react to all of this? Would they call her blonde too? Under any other circumstances, she’d tell herself she was being silly. There hasn’t been one single moment 51 did not stood by her when she needed them, but this is different. This is Gabby. They worshiped her long before they even knew Sylvie (even Stella). She’s pretty sure Herrmann once referred to her as his daughter. What kind of father wouldn’t lash out the woman who is standing in the way of his daugther’s family?

Aaaand, there it is! The reason why – or one of them anyway - this has been so painful for her, even though her and Matt are not even in a relationship, much less thinking of children themselves. It’s the possibility behind it all. He said he doesn’t want to do this without her, and he said he’s not in love with Gabby anymore. Heck, he said he was in love with _her_. But what happens when Gabby and the little guy show up, for real, in person? What happens when the good memories start to overlap the bad ones? What happens after they watch a few milestones of their son, together?

That is, supposing somehow Casey is around to see all of that. Which reminds her, there’s still an “I don’t know” hanging above them. Casey never said he wouldn’t leave for Puerto Rico, and if she’s being honest, she knows he would. For the son he so longed for, he’d do just about anything. The question now is, would he ask her to come with? And even if he did, would she actually go? And thus, the circle is complete, and she’s right back to all of the “what happens when” questions from before.

Sylvie shivers and sinks onto her couch, furrowed brows and eyes shut yet again. She needs to answer all of these questions, but she can’t do it on her own. She needs wine, and someone to talk to. Someone not on 51, though. She loves her firehouse family, but one thing they suck at is keeping a secret. Plus, she’s not exactly in a hurry to find out their reaction about this. But then again, it also has to be someone who’s in the loop, someone who understands who is who and what is what.

A picture frame on one of the shelves on her living room gives her the answer she is looking for (way to go Sylvie! Now there’s only nine hundred and nighty-nine questions left to find the answer to!).

She pulls out her phone and starts texting. She sends a gif of Adele singing “Hello” first, and then a text.

_“Busy? I mean, I know you are, but are you too busy? I need to talk. It’s kind of an emergency. Key words being *kind of*.”_

A few seconds go by before an answer pops up on her screen.

_“Never too busy for ya girl! Just so I’m prepared though, how bad is it?”_

She smiles softly at the question. Oh, how well her friends know her.

_“Mercury is in retrograde”_

Sylvie waits a few seconds again.

_“Oh boy. Ok, I can already tell this requires alcohol. Facetime at 08pm?”_

Sylvie smiles and sights, this time relieved.

_“Thank you thank you thank you!”_

_“Anytime, partner!”_

This last text came with a winky emoji, and Sylvie lets out a relieved smile. She gets up and double checks her wine bar at the kitchen. She has enough bottles to choose from, even though she knows it will probably be the usual rosé, and she’s got a drinking buddy secured. With that, Sylvie walks back over to her living room and allows herself to engage in a mind-numbing marathon of Property Brothers, constantly repeating to herself mentally that everything is going to be ok.

***

\- Everyone misses you! And you’d love Mackie! She’s still getting her foot wet, but she handled herself very well on that call – Sylvie says, not noticing her chest almost automatically inflating with pride of her new partner. The image of her and Mackie pulling themselves out of the crashed 61 flashes before her eyes, and she also feels proud of herself. That moment was really badass.

\- Speaking of which, next time you decide to turn our beloved Ambo into a flying rig will you please give me a heads up?! – on the other side of her MacBook’s screen, Emily Foster scolds her friend and former partner for taking so long to tell her about the accident. As controversial as it sounds, Sylvie missed that bossy tone of voice. And she’s likely to hear it a lot tonight, because the accident was definitively not the only thing she hasn’t told Foster.

\- What was I supposed to do? Call you out of the blue and say “Oh hey Emily, how are you? I just called to say that Ambo was rammed off an overpass while I was driving it, but I’m all good”?

\- Ah, yeah, that’s exactly what you should have done! – Foster says as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.

\- We were absolutely fine, barely a scratch! – Sylvie protests with a dismissive wave of her hand.

\- Of course you were. – Foster rolls her eyes, and they both laugh.

\- Seriously though, you should come by. You know, when things get better.

Ever since she started volunteering in a COVID ward, Foster decided to quarantine herself, just in case, and thus avoided any kind of personal interaction that wasn’t absolutely necessary. Sylvie remembers Foster’s active social life clearly, so she can only imagine how hard this must have been for her.

\- Oh, trust me partner, once this damn vaccine gets here, I’m gonna be all over the place, mark my words!

Emily makes a funny and wolfish face, and Sylvie knows she’s definitively not referring to 51 only. Once again, they both laugh.

\- Ok – Foster says after taking a sip of whatever it is she had prepared for tonight – can we stop beating around the bush and get to it now? My drink is getting warm.

Sylvie takes a deep breath. She was the one who called for this conversation, yet now that it is actually happening, she has no idea how to even start it.

\- Come on – Emily says – spit it out.

\- Alright, so, it actually all started with that call I was telling you about. Well, I mean, it didn’t _start_ with that call per say, but the accident did have a lot to do with what…

\- This is about Casey – of course, Foster would get it without Sylvie even saying that much. The former paramedic’s expression goes from an amused, knowing, and a little dirty smirk to wide eyes and concern in a matter of seconds – but you said mercury is in retrograde, so this ends badly. Oh, I see how it is! We worked together for two years but he chooses to break your heart exactly when I can’t even leave my house to kick his ass?! Damn it, captain!

\- No-no, he didn’t do anything wrong. I mean, he did, but then he didn’t, it’s just that… - Sylvie sights as she notices she’s starting to ramble again. She takes a moment to pull herself together before she continues.

\- I took your advice.

Emily quirks a brown at her friend

– I jumped him. – Sylvie says awkwardly.

Foster raises both arms up – drink still in hand – and starts singing “hallelujah”, looking up with a big smile across her face.

\- About damn time! See? If you had listened to your dashing friend over here sooner, the universe wouldn’t have had to put you through a near-death experience for you to finally have the balls to get it over with!

\- Well, I mean, it sure was a near-death experience, but it wasn’t the near-death part that pushed me to “get it over with”. Not mainly, anyway – Sylvie says, and she looks down for a second as she remembers that night at Molly’s, as well as Gallo’s excitement to tell the story, having no idea he was totally outing his captain, and a fond smile invades her face. She looks back up to find a confused Emily starring at her.

\- What was, then?

\- Right, you don’t know about that – Sylvie reminds herself that Emily hasn’t heard the full story, so she shifts on her seat trying to get comfortable for what’s about to come. Sylvie knows once Emily learns what happens, she will never hear the end of it – So, Truck 81 responded to the accident, and when I climbed out of the Ambo, Matt – _Casey -_ was there. Alone. - Emily’s expression goes from confused to intrigued - I thought it was strange, but I also thought maybe it was just the adrenaline of the moment that made me not see anyone else, at first.

\- Adrenaline, yeah, sure. – Emily satirizes, and then sips her drink.

\- Later that day – Sylvie continues, ignoring her comment - we met up at Molly’s after shift, and when I arrived Gallo remembered that Squad did not know what happened on the call, so he decides to tell Capp and Tony the details. And that’s when he says - very excitedly, I must add - that by the time they saw 61 down the embankment, Matt freaked out and started yelling for Stella to turn the rig around, but they had already blown past the scene and she obviously couldn’t do that just like that, so he… he jumped out of the truck while it was still moving.

Emily nearly chokes on her drink, using her free hand to collect the drops that inevitably fall. As soon as she swallows the liquid in her mouth, she all but yells at the computer screen, eyes wide open.

\- Excuse me?!

\- Yeap, it was that dramatic – this story melted Sylvie’s heart when she heard it, but telling it herself makes her feel a bit self-conscious for some reason – I mean, Gallo probably overdramatized it a little bit. At some point, I’m pretty sure he used the word “possessed” to describe the way Matt ran towards the Ambo after his little stunt. You know, probably got momentum from the jump. Better than fractures I guess – Sylvie says, her tone of voice being disputed by affection and reproval. She loves knowing that Casey did that for her, but she also hates that he did it. He could have gotten himself seriously hurt or even killed.

\- Oh my God! And I’m only hearing about this now?!

\- We’ve already covered that part, Em – Sylvie says as she sips her glass of rosé.

Emily blinks a few times before speaking again.

\- Ok, as much as I could obsess over this for the next week or so, I am dying to hear how the hell he managed to screw things up after _that_ , because seriously, that’s got to be some kind of Guinness-book-worthy record.

\- Well, nothing’s screwed up really, it’s just… complicated.

And so, Sylvie tells it all. The question, the talk, the baby.

“Oof” is Emily’s first reaction. She stares vaguely at something in her apartment, trying to process everything whilst nodding her head slowly. After a few seconds in complete silence, she bursts out.

\- Ok look, I’m sorry, I know that you people love this Gabriela Dawson person, and I met her, but I didn’t really get to know her, so I’m not exactly in a position to judge but I have to say: the more I hear about this chick, the more I think she needs a good punch in the face.

\- Emily! – Sylvie reprimands.

\- What?! Sylvie, she left all of you guys without barely saying goodbye apart from a surprise visit to her at the time husband – she stresses the words “surprise visit” - and a sloppy card to you! Don’t look at me like that! I know you loved it, but I saw it. It was sloppy. And then a year and a half later without any calls, texts, postcards, smoke signals or any other form of communication known to human nature she waltzes back into the firehouse like nothing happened, and because you guys are you guys, you treat her like nothing happened. And now there’s a chance that she manipulated her ex-husband into getting her pregnant? Who the hell does that?!

As much as she hates to admit it, Emily does have a point.

\- Not her finest moments, I’ll agree to that, but judging them right now is not going to help me. So, can we please go back to my crisis?

Foster raises both hands in front of her as a sign of surrender.

\- Ok, alright, let’s look at this objectively – this time, Emily is the one who shifts on her seat, takes a longer sip on her drink and then continues to talk – first things first: I totally get why you asked what you did, and good for you for not accepting any less than what you deserve, but girl, next time, we gotta work on that timing.

Sylvie chuckles and nods her head from side to side, considering what Foster just said. Ok, Emily’s not completely wrong, but she sincerely hopes there is no “next time”.

\- Secondly, Casey is in love with you. I mean, if you needed further confirmation after the jumping out of a moving firetruck act, he actually said it out loud. And you’re in love with him too, so that much is actually very uncomplicated, agreed?

Sylvie wants to, but she simply can’t bring herself to say the word “agreed” back. It still isn’t that simple for her.

\- Brett?! - Emily yells, expecting a response.

\- Don’t “Brett” me, it isn’t that simple!

\- Why not?!

\- Because! I just… – Sylvie takes a deep breath – it’s just like Julie. I loved spending time with her, but I didn’t want to get too attached because I had this feeling she’d disappear again after the baby was born. She wasn’t in my life for a long time, and I thought she would eventually not be again. And in a way, I was right. – Sylvie takes a few minutes to swallow back down the knot that started forming in her throat - I just can’t help but think that the same thing is going to happen with Matt, and it scares me. He wasn’t in my life _like this_ for a really long time, and it feels like sooner or later he won’t be again. Weirdly enough, for the same reason, just different contexts – Sylvie explains, referring to the babies in question – but if we just stay friends…

Sylvie’s sentence trails off, as she doesn’t really know what happens then, and Emily takes it as her cue.

\- …what then? What kind of guarantee do you get from just staying friends? You’re guaranteed that he’s always going to run into a burning building and come out alive? You’re guaranteed that he’s never going to meet someone else, fall in love and, I don’t know, move to China or something?

\- Matt would never move to China – Sylvie doges the point Emily’s making exactly because she knows her friend is right.

\- Alright fine, Texas.

\- Neither!

\- Wouldn’t he? What guarantee do you have of that? Because Casey strikes me like the kind of guy that would do just about anything for someone he loves.

Sylvie sits on it for a few seconds.

\- He didn’t move to Puerto Rico – once again, she dodges.

\- Which probably says a lot about what their relationship was like at the time.

\- He did love Gabby!

Emily takes a deep breath. She had almost forgotten how genuinely good her friend’s heart is. Even in the middle of the mess, she still defends the one who made it in the first place. Oh, Sylvie.

\- I’m not saying he didn’t… At some point. I’m saying he probably wasn’t _in love_ with her anymore back then. I haven’t known Casey that long, but I feel like he’s the type of guy that would only move out of Chicago for someone he was actually in love with. So, if he stayed, that is probably the best indicator of how he felt. Let me remind you, he’s not you.

Emily is referring to Kyle and Sylvie knows it. Damn it. She doesn’t like to think or talk much about what happened between them for, well, pretty self-explanatory reasons. She accepted his proposal and moved to Fowlerton with him, even though deep, deep down, she knew she wasn’t really in love with _him_.

Low blow, Foster, low blow.

\- You’re just trying to change the subject because you know I’m right – Foster looks at Sylvie like a teacher who caught a student cheating – Can I please go back to my metaphor now?

\- Fine. – Sylvie gives up. She should have known Foster wouldn’t go easy on her.

\- Thank you – Emily clears he throat – Now, as I was saying, do you get any special guarantees as a reward for just staying friends with Casey?

\- No – Sylvie’s answer sounds more like a question.

\- Then wouldn’t you prefer to be the one he moves to China or Texas for? And if someday he doesn’t make it out of one of those burning buildings, wouldn’t it be a little easier to mourn if you knew you enjoyed every bit of every second you had?

These words hit Sylvie like a punch right in the middle of her stomach. Part of the pain she felt when Julie died was caused by haunting thoughts of regret for not having reached out to her sooner, told her more stories when she requested them – dropped the “birth” and just called her mother.

As if she was reading her mind, Emily continues.

\- Julie was different. She was a complete stranger that for all you knew could be a scam. But he’s not a stranger. He’s Matt – Emily smiles – or at least that’s what you’ve been calling him these days.

She has been calling him that, hasn’t she? He’s Matt. A statement that is obvious yet full of meaning. He’s Matt.

She smiles, refills her glass of wine and then sips on it.

\- We still haven’t talked about the baby.

It’s not what she expected to hear, but she feels like she’s pushed Sylvie enough on this first topic, so Emily moves on.

\- Ok. Now, this may sound obvious and a little counterintuitive after everything I just said, but I have to ask: have you considered talking to Dawson? Because I feel like that would be the first thing to do.

\- Not an option. I told you, Antonio said he’d stop updating Matt on the baby.

\- I heard you, but, does it really make that big of a difference right now? I mean, she’s what, one, maybe two months away from giving birth? That’s when you’re expecting to hear from her, right?

\- Right – Sylvie confirms.

\- Well, then, even if he does stop the updates it won’t be that long until you hear from her. That is, if she decides to continue radio silent until the baby is born.

\- I’m not sure if Matt’s willing to risk it.

\- I get it, but if I was in your shoes, I’d remember him that if he doesn’t reach out to her soon, he’s taking an even bigger risk. After all, there’s a small but very real chance that she might not make it through the birth, and I really think he should clear the air with her about this whole pill thing. I mean, she could still lie about it, but it is worth the try. Besides – Emily proceeds, softening her voice a little as she once again touches the previous topic – if you heard me at all and you are planning on being an active party in this child’s life, you should probably tell Dawson about you and Casey. Not because you own her anything, at least I don’t think you do, but she does have the right to know who her son’s stepmom is going to be.

“Stepmom”. Dear Lord.

\- We’re not getting married, Emily.

\- Not with that attitude you’re not.

Sylvie chuckles and decides to transform the wine in her hands into a shot, chugging the whole glass down in a matter of seconds. That was a couple of big, strong words they just said out loud. She then lets her head fall backwards on the couch, starring into the ceiling. When it starts moving, she realizes it probably wasn’t the best idea, so she pushes her head back up again, slowly. Funny how the baby seemed to be the biggest issue, yet it was the one that took less time to discuss.

They stay quiet for a little while, because there’s really nothing left to say. At least not for Emily to say. It’s up to Sylvie now to decide what to do next.

\- I’m sorry to dump all of this on you. I know you have a lot going on, it’s just that I couldn’t really talk to anyone else right now. Matt asked me not to tell anyone at the Firehouse about the pregnancy yet. I’m not sure if that includes Stella, because Severide knows, but I…

\- Hey, stop – Emily interrupts her - I told you once before, I’ll say it again: you’re not alone, girl, no matter where you, or in this case I, go. Plus, it’s not your fault. Mercury sucks.

They both laugh and Sylvie looks fondly at her former partner, releasing a breath she feels like she had been holding since her friend first answered her facetime call. Thank God for Emily!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Mackie’s been really growing on me, but I also loved Emily, and I just had to bring her back before anyone else! Plus, ever since 9x02 played out I can’t stop thinking about how she’d react to everything that happened in it. Guess this kinda became an Emily Foster appreciation chapter hahaha hope you liked it!


	4. Lead the way

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this fanfic hasn’t been following the timeline of the actual show for a minute now, but I will keep trying to include a few things that actually happen on it – or that I hope will happen hehehe – and add my own spin to them, so don’t be confused if you see bits and pieces of season 09 in a different order. Enjoy!

Next shift, Brett and Casey bump into each other on the bunk room right before breakfast.

\- Hey – he says first, both nervous and pleased to see her.

\- Hey – she parrots.

They stare at one another like two idiots for a few seconds, shifting their weight nervously whilst trying to remember what a normal conversation sounds like.

\- Have you had breakfast yet?

\- No, no, I’m just going to the bathroom first – it is only after she points towards the bathroom door that she remembers he doesn’t need directions. He’s worked on the firehouse longer than she has. Geez. What is it about them that makes them both act like freaking teenagers around each other?

\- Well, I won’t stand in your way. – he smiles awkwardly after the words come out of his mouth. What kind of a response was that?

They move past each other, but it takes Sylvie two steps to remember that she is a rip-the-band-aid-off type person. Most of the times, at least. And postponing this part of the conversation is a dumb move anyway, since time is actually a pressing issue. She stops abruptly and turns around, calling out to him.

\- Matt – he immediately stops and looks back at her – can we talk? It will just take a second.

\- Of course. - he opens the door to his quarters and waits for her to get in. Casey has no idea how many bonuses points these small, old-school- chivalry gestures get him with her. Not that she’s keeping score, but they are adorable and so rare these days.

The click of his quarter’s door shutting closed brings her back to reality. Really? She started mentally rambling because he held the door for her? Oh boy. She’s in big trouble.

She takes a big breath before speaking. She can see he’s hopefully expectant eyes, and she’s already sorry that she’ll disappoint them.

\- I-I’ve been thinking a lot. About everything – she starts slowly. He nods his head understandingly – I still need time. And space – she quickly adds.

There’s an awkward moment of silence. Casey is not only disappointed but also a bit confused. If that’s not what this is about then what is it?

\- As I said, you can have all the time you want. And space – he responds, mimicking her.

He thinks she can sense his confusion in his voice, because she answers his question without him even asking it.

\- There’s one thing though that I wanted to talk to you about – another deep breath – I really think you need to talk to Gabby.

Casey lets out a frustrated sight. This conversation keeps deviating further and further away from the direction he hoped it was going. Sylvie continues talking before he can protest.

\- I know what you’re going to say, but I really don’t think she would shut you out once she finds out you know. And even if she does, the baby is only one, maybe two months away at this point. I imagine that even one week without news from your son must be a lot, but since there is a chance that… - Sylvie changes the course of her sentence. There are better ways to put that - … since Gabby still has that aneurism, reaching out to her sooner rather than later is probably a good idea.

Matt leans against his table, crossing his arms in front of him for a brief moment before rubbing his hand against his face.

\- I’m the one who needs time to think about it this time. – he answers, smiling faintly.

\- Of course – Sylvie responds, softly – it is your decision. But I think it would be really good to clear things up with her. Or at least try.

\- Thanks Sylvie – he nods his head, maintaining the faint smile.

Sylvie mirrors him and then starts to walk out slowly. She resumes her way to the bathroom, but the bells decide she’ll have to hold it for now. Typical. Hopefully it will be a quick call.

Matt stays in his quarters, and as he watches her sprint towards 61, he ponders her words. “It is _your_ decision”. That is true. Afterall, he is the father, and he’s not quite sure what he and Sylvie are right now. So why does it bother him so much to hear her saying that? In fact, this entire conversation hits a nerve for him. It might have something to do with the fact that last time Sylvie pushed him towards Gabby, well… _this_ happened. But maybe, it isn’t so much about the consequences. Maybe he’s bugged by the fact that if Sylvie’s pushing him towards Gabby, she’s also pushing him away from her. Is she?

A loud growl from his stomach reminds him he does not have the energy to keep entertaining those thoughts without food, so he gets up and heads towards the common room.

The smell he captures halfway there assures him Cruz is not on breakfast duty today. Thank God.

\- Good morning captain – from behind the isle on the kitchen, Gallo greets Casey colorfully while flipping another round of pancakes.

\- Morning – Casey answers as he picks up a plate.

Cruz and Tony follow right behind him.

\- Engine better come back before Capp gets to these bad boys – Cruz jokes, as he stacks pancakes on his plate.

\- Oh no, don’t worry, I saved them a batch. Will cook it when they come back. – Gallo answers sweetly.

\- Your candidate is too nice, captain – Cruz says to Casey as he reaches for the maple syrup.

\- You better make it two batches – Casey ignores Cruz and looks back at Gallo – 61 is out too.

Cruz rolls his eyes.

\- Already did – the candidate answers back with a bright, knowing smile. A little too knowing for Casey’s liking.

\- Good. – he limits himself to say and walks over to the round table.

Cruz says something behind him, and Gallo seems to protest against it, but by this time his thoughts have already invaded his mind and he’s not listening anymore. His introspective moment doesn’t last long though.

\- Did you talk to Brett yet? – Severide sets his breakfast plate beside Matt’s on the round table of the common room and sits down, speaking discretely.

Normally, Matt wouldn’t feel comfortable talking about something like this in such a public part of the house, but both Engine and Ambo are out on calls and the rest of the Squad and Truck members are too entertained over whatever it is they just started arguing about.

\- Yeah – he answers, also keeping his voice down and chewing a piece of bacon – She’s figuring it all out.

Severide nods his head slowly.

\- Hey, listen – his friend continues – I’ve been doing some thinking about it myself, and I don’t want you to take this the wrong way or anything but…

\- Spit it out – Matt interrupts him, a little annoyed.

Kelly frowns his forehead and takes a short breath in.

\- Are you sure this is your baby? – he asks slowly.

Casey looks up from his plate, furrows his browns and leans back against the chair, dropping the knife and fork on the table. That’s a thought he did not have before.

\- Well, I can’t be 100% sure but… I mean, it adds up. You know, the timing. Plus, Gabby didn’t even reach out to _me_. Why would she lie to Antonio about it?

Kelly shrugs.

\- Maybe the guy’s a douche and she was trying to avoid the lecture – Kelly suggests – I don’t know. All I’m saying is, burying your head in the sand is useless when it comes to these things. I speak from experience.

Indeed, he does. Casey remembers those days well. Even if he didn’t, Renée showed up at the house not that long ago - with the child she tried to deceive Kelly into thinking was his. The only fun part about it was watching Stella trying really hard not to kick the woman’s ass all the way from Chicago back to Spain.

\- Ah… what are you suggesting then? Paternity test? – Casey asks, a little skeptic. Do they really think she’d do that?

\- Well, you could try talking to her first – Kelly shrugs – but yeah, that’s the only way to know for sure.

Casey sights, feeling tired at the mere thought of all the crap he’d get from Gabby for making a request like that. She’d probably take a page out of Renée’s book and slap him in the face too if they had this conversation face to face. That is, if they do ever have this conversation in the first place.

***

\- Ok, I’ve got two more questions for you – Mackie remembers she had a few things to clarify as she hops back on the rig after their Starbucks mid-shift pit-stop. It’s been one of _those_ days, and they were in desperate need of caffeine.

\- Shoot. – Sylvie answers, happy to oblige.

\- Who did you say again was married to that police officer?

\- Sargent – Sylvie corrects her partner – and that would be Mouch.

\- Really? I was almost sure it was Herrmann. Mouch looks like such a goofball, I wouldn’t have pictured him with her.

Trudy payed a visit to 51 earlier this shift in order to thank Herrmann for being such a great friend to her beloved husband, but by the time Mackie and Sylvie entered the common room, all the younger paramedic saw was Herrmann with a box of donuts in his hand and Trudy walking out, not without giving Casey her very best death glare for giving Mouch such a hard time at first – but Mackie didn’t know that then.

\- He is, and that is precisely the reason why they are the most iconic cross-department couple in Chicago.

Mackie smiles trying to imagine the dynamics of it, and Sylvie buckles up her seatbelt, smiling as well.

\- What was the other question? – the PIC asks as she turns on the ignition.

\- How long have you and captain Casey been together?

Mackie is not even joking or teasing, she’s literally asking, 100% sure there’s something there.

\- Ugh, not this question again. - and specially not _right now,_ Sylvie thinks to herself as everything that happened in the last few days rushes over her mind, and she throws her head forwards a little bit, feeling defeated.

\- I don't remember asking you that before… - her partner looks genuinely confused.

\- No, it wasn’t you, it was just… people. A few of them. – Sylvie explains with a somewhat annoyed expression.

\- Wait so you two are not a thing?! – and now, she looks genuinely surprised.

\- You've been at firehouse 51 for what, a couple of weeks? What made you think we were?! – Sylvie smiles, faking surprise. It seems that as of late, her and Casey look like “a thing” to everyone but themselves.

\- Well, the jumping out of a moving firetruck thing was kind of a big hint. I mean, I assumed he did that for you. I didn't think he liked my sandwiches that much.

Both Mackie and Sylvie laugh.

\- Trust me Mackie, do not underestimate the willpower that comes from a firefighter’s stomach.

\- Copy that.

Sylvie brushes it off, but she can tell Mackie is not buying it. She and Mackie have not yet become friends per say, but she’d like that, and if they are going to be friends, this topic is bound to comeback eventually.

\- Which is to say… it’s complicated. _Very_ complicated – never in her entire life did Sylvie think that one day she’d refer to Matt Casey as “it’s complicated”, but here we are.

\- Well, I’m happy to talk boys anytime you want – Mackie says before she sips on her coffee – I’m single and ready to mingle! – She says playfully.

\- Really? – Sylvie’s tone of voice lights up - Because I am 100% sure you heard that story from a dashing cute candidate on Truck 81, maybe you’d want to talk about him for a while – Sylvie teases, looking in her rear-view mirror before getting Ambo back on the street and on their way to 51.

\- Sure! As long as Cruz is not around.

They both laugh and Sylvie glances at the young woman beside her. Mackie’s opened and outgoing personality is the very opposite of Sylvie’s, and it has been a breath of fresh air, especially given the turmoil these last few weeks have been. She smiles. This is going to work, the two of them.

***

It is one hectic day for 51. There isn’t one single moment during the entire first half of shift in which all companies are back at the firehouse at the same time. Ambo 61 is specially drilled by the bells, barely making it back before getting another call.

By nightfall, Sylvie is exhausted. For the last twelve hours if she wasn’t running around answering calls, she was drowning in paperwork back at the house. The distraction from a certain captain and all the tangles that come with him is welcome, but she didn’t need to get _that_ distracted.

Weirdly enough, when things finally seem to calm down a bit, she can’t sleep. Her body is in desperate need for a break and at least a nap, but her brain didn’t seem to get the memo.

She’s been starring at the ceiling of the bunkroom for about ten minutes straight when she finally decides to get up and heads to the kitchen. If she’s going to pull an all-nighter, then coffee is required. The coffee maker is full and warm with freshly made coffee, which likely means chief is burning the midnight oil too.

She pours herself a cup and nearly spills it all on the floor when she turns around and suddenly Mackie materializes right in front of her.

\- Sorry, I didn’t mean to scary you – her partner says – I guess I’m still hyped with adrenaline from this crazy shift because I can’t sleep.

\- Neither can I – Sylvie agrees with a sufferable voice, sinking into the couch.

Mackie pours herself a cup of coffee too and walks over to Brett.

\- You ok? – she asks kindly, taking a seat next to her in one of the armchairs. Sylvie doesn’t answer – Is it complicated? – Gianna asks knowingly but maintains the kind tone.

Sylvie only chuckles and nods her head, frowning her forehead. She remembers Foster once saying she was as easy to read as the hunger games. That’s probably true since Mackie hasn’t known her for that long and apparently, she’s already learning how to “read” her too.

Mackie stays quite for a while, observing Sylvie’s vacant stare.

\- Hey – she says softly – I happened to notice a 24hrs open sign on that Starbucks we stopped by earlier today. Wanna grab a midnight cookie? I bet it will make you feel better.

\- Yeah, I guess it will.

Sylvie smiles and gets up, following Mackie to the apparatus floor.

\- Soooo – Mackie says as they pass Truck 81 walking towards the Ambo, now with a shit-eating grin on her face - since this was my idea, do you think maybe I could drive?

Sylvie rolls her eyes but smiles.

\- Fine. But don’t get used to it – she tosses the keys to a very happy Gianna and opens the door on her way to the passenger seat.

It is probably safer for both of them that she doesn’t drive right now since apparently every thought her busy shift had pushed away decided to come back and haunt her now.

They stop at a red-light and while Mackie is explaining in detail why macadamia anything are her favorite cookies, Sylvie’s eyes drift to what looks like a residential building’s window on the next block.

It first caught her eye because it was the only window that seemed to have a faint night-light on, but now that she’s looking at it, something seems wrong. The glass has weird scratches on it, like somebody tried to remove the window tint but failed miserably.

She’s beginning to wonder why anyone would even try to do that when the glass disintegrates into pieces that fall inside the apartment, and she realizes what she thought was a black window tint was actually smoke, and there is no faint night-light on, but instead a fully developed, thriving blaze, which feeds even more on the newly found source of oxygen.

\- Wow – keeping her eyes on the window, she orders Mackie to pull up the rig.

She hops out of the ambo, as does Mackie, and it doesn’t take long for her to also figure out what is going on.

\- Main, this is Ambulence 61, we’re at the corner of South Dearborn street, do you have a call for a structure fire on our location? – Sylvie asks over her radio.

\- Negative 61 – Main responds shortly after.

\- Well, we’re calling it in – Sylvie says firmly, glancing at Mackie – structure fire on the corner of South Dearborn street, residential building, seven stories, looks fully developed. I can only see one unit on fire, seems like it’s the 5thfloor. As of this moment there are no victims, but I can’t assume the building is empty.

\- Copy that 61, stand by. We’ll be assigning more units to assist you on the scene.

Sylvie paces around nervously as she watches what looks like pieces of the roof falling down rapidly as the flames engulf the apartment.

\- Are you sure this is a residential building? – Mackie asks – no one is coming out.

\- That’s exactly what is concerning me right now – Sylvie looks around and pays close attention to any cries for help or noises in general – I don’t think this started recently judging by those flames – she looks to the window again – but doesn’t look like anyone’s noticed it yet.

Sylvie checks her watch. It’s a little past one in the morning. People probably didn’t notice the fire because they are asleep. Brett’s eyes scan the windows close by looking for signs of the blaze spreading. The window next to the one she’s been monitoring seems to have the same scratches she saw before, but not the “faint-light”. If the fire is spreading, then the next unit seems to have only smoke for now, but she can’t tell for sure.

Either way, it is not good.

\- Main, there is a possible second unit on fire as well, how long until those units get here? – she pressures.

\- There are two companies fifteen minutes out of your location, 61 – main responds, and Sylvie nods her head negatively. Fifteen minutes is way too much time.

\- I’m going in – she says firmly, and walks towards the back of the Ambo, followed by a somewhat shocked and confused Mackie.

\- What?!

Sylvie doesn’t answer as she opens the compartment where they keep their fire gear and starts to suit up.

\- We don’t have oxygen masks or cylinders here – Mackie points out, still confused and shocked.

\- I know – Sylvie says, as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. Mackie looks at her in disbelief – Mackie, listen to me – Sylvie continues, steadily – As PIC I’m giving you the choice to stand down and wait for the companies out here. No one will ever think any less of you if you do, I promise you that. In fact, it’s quite the opposite. I will probably get written up for this, and so will you if you follow – Sylvie chuckles slightly – But fifteen minutes is too long. Great exposure to carbon monoxide kills much faster than that, and judging by that window, there’s a lot of it inside this building. These people don’t even know they are in danger. I can’t stand by and watch.

Mackie catches up to Sylvie’s line of thought pretty quickly, and before the PIC is done talking, she’s already suit up too.

\- Lead the way – Gianna says determinately, and Sylvie smiles proudly.

\- Ok, listen up – Sylvie says confidently as they walk towards the front door - We’re going to knock on or kick down as many doors as we can and guide people out. Watch out for the elevators, there’s always someone trying to sneak out through them. If we find any injuries, I want you to guide them out here and start setting triage, ok? Do not treat anyone inside unless the victim can’t move. The higher up we go, the harder it will be to breath. Coughing and shortness of breath is expected, but if you start feeling dizzy or nauseous, take it as your cue to get out. We’re here to save people best we can, not to play firefighters for a night, so if you see fire, you bail. Understood?

She stops short off the front door waiting for confirmation from her partner. Mackie nods her head assertively.

\- Let’s go. – Sylvie commands, as they both cross the front door and walk into the building.


	5. Mayday

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoy action/angst, because this chapter is solely it lol The thing with wanting to show that a character can be a badass is that the only way to do it is to throw them curveballs – a bunch of them (sorry not sorry, Sylvie). Enjoy!

Brett and Mackie take a look around once they are inside the building, trying to access the situation best they can, and all of a sudden it is clear why there was nobody coming out. First floor is absolutely normal, and if Sylvie hadn’t seen that window with her own eyes, she’d think whoever said anything about a fire on that building was insane.

There’s barely any smoke in the air, and now she’s starting to think that maybe the fire did start recently – andsuddenly. _Very_ suddenly. It is the only way it could be that bad and not yet spread smoke all over the place. Her mind goes to arson almost immediately, but she pulls it right back and focuses on the here and now. If this is already above her paycheck, speculating the causes of the fire is even further beyond.

\- One more thing – she turns over to Mackie before they walk any deeper into the hallway – we’re still in the middle of a pandemic, so remind people to stay away from each other, even outside, and if the fire isn’t out of control where they are, like this floor, there’s time to mask up before they head out. There’s also a pack of masks in the Ambo if need be.

\- Copy that – Mackie gives an assertive nod with her head. How the hell Sylvie manages to remember these details as they are walking into a building that might light up at any moment she’ll never know.

As they approach the first door, Mackie has a question.

\- What exactly are we going to…

\- Watch – Sylvie interrupts her and turns towards the door, pounding on it like she’s trying to nail something on it with her fist, and then yells as loud as she can.

– Chicago Fire Department, open up!

A cranky and sleepy old man opens the door a few seconds later.

\- What the hell?! – he protests.

\- Fire! Everybody out! – Sylvie orders.

\- What?! – the man looks like he just woke up from a deep sleep into a real-life nightmare.

\- Sir, there’s a fire on the fifth floor, I need you to evacuate this building right now. Are you hurt anywhere? – She runs her eyes over him, looking for possible injuries. He barely registers what she is saying, but manages to nod his head slowly – Ok, get a mask and make your way out to the sidewalks, there are firefighters on the way.

The man seems to come to his senses quickly and grabs a mask before heading out.

\- What is going on?! – an old lady next door pokes her head on the hallway – did you say there is a fire on the 5thfloor?

Mackie walks over to her.

\- Yes, ma’am, we need you to head outside. Are you injured?

\- Oh dear! Is it bad?! – the woman doesn’t move from her spot on the threshold nor answers Mackie’s question.

The younger paramedic is about to respond when Sylvie interferes.

\- Let the firefighters worry about that ma’am. The best you can do right now is get a mask and wait out on the sidewalk.

The firm tone of voice of the PIC seems to do it, and the woman rushes inside and comes back out a few seconds later with a mask on, remarking on how horrible the situation is.

\- Avoid prolonging conversation as much as you can, Mackie – she instructs her partner – in situations like this, every second matters.

Mackie nods positively and follows Sylvie to the next door.

\- From now on, the news is going to spread fast and people tend to freak out, which always makes things worst then they really are – the PIC continues - clear and assertive commands usually help to maintain some kind of order.

\- Copy that – Mackie answers promptly.

Sylvie yells and pounds on the door in front of them. No answer. She repeats the move a second time. Still no answer.

\- And what do I do if that happens? – Mackie asks pointing to the shut door in front of them. Sylvie turns her back towards it, prompts herself on both sides of the jamb and kicks the door open.

\- Oh, ok. You meant _literally_ kick the door.

Mackie and Brett chuckle at her remark.

\- Yeah – Sylvie says, catching her breath from the effort - Can’t be gentle on the door, or it is going to be hard on your knee.

\- I’m going to check if anyone’s home – Mackie says, making her way inside.

\- Wait – Sylvie stops her, taking a quick glance around – Looks like we have six units per story. I want to climb up and check on that fifth floor, try to see how bad it is. You got the other three down here?

\- Yeah, of course! – Mackie responds firmly – Hey! – She calls out again as Sylvie is approaching the stairs. Brett stops and looks back at her – be careful! 

\- You too! – she answers and sprints up towards the next floor.

***

The kind of strength spinning classes develop on one’s legs comes in handy when one has to quickly climb five flights of stairs. Sylvie has no problem on that department whilst getting to the fifth floor, however, as she predicted, it gets really hard to breath by the fourth story.

When she finally reaches the fifth, she knows that whatever she is going to do, she’s got to make it fast. The air around her is impossibly hot and thick, making it really hard to do anything. She’s not sure if the power is out or if it’s just that most lights are turned off on this floor but throw smoke into that scenario and she can barely see anything.

One thing she can clearly see though, with just a glance, is that the fire she saw from the street seems to be bursting at the last apartment down the hallway. The door has already given in, giving her a glance of the burning inferno that the apartment has turned into. She can also see that the flames are eating up the ceiling fast, and they have already engulfed a section of the hallway and the opposite apartment. This is the assessment her lay paramedic eyes are able to come up with, which means the situations is probably a lot worse than this.

\- Ambulance 61 to Main confirming we’ve got at least two units on fire, fully developed. There are civilians on the building who might need medical assistance – her shortness of breath interrupts her for a moment, but she continues – we need an EMS Plan I.

That’s usually not her call to make, but right now, they are not only the first company on the scene, but also the _only_ one. She’s the PIC, she calls the shots until a higher rank shows up - especially when she can’t afford to wait for one.

\- Copy that, 61 – Main answers – dispatching units to your location.

Sylvie’s hand fumbles the burning hot walls until she is able to distinguish a door amongst the smoke. Thankfully, it opens quickly, as does the others she knocks on, and people start to make their way downstairs. Nobody appears to be seriously injured, but they need to get checked out for CO levels and respiratory distress as most aren’t breathing very well or are showing symptoms like nausea or dizziness. Following her own instructions, she doesn’t go anywhere near the apartments closest to the fire.

\- Nice and easy people, one step at a time - she guides the victims towards the stairs and calls Mackie over the radio in between coughs – Mackie, report!

\- First floor is cleared; I’m knocking doors on level two right now.

\- Ok, I’m coming down with inhalation victims, wait for us on two.

\- Copy that!

Within a few minutes, Sylvie meets Mackie on the second floor, which gives her lungs a much-needed break from the smoke.

\- Fifth floor is rolling! – Brett says as she approaches her partner – we have to get these people out and start triage. Come on!

What Sylvie really wants is to sprint back up and get people out of the other floors, but she knows she needs a few rehab minutes of fresh air.

Fifth floor joins second floor victims and are escorted out of the building by 61’s paramedics. They’re also joined by a few light-sleepers from three and four who heard the commotion and went out to investigate.

By the time they reach the sidewalks, Sylvie is enragedly frustrated to see they are _still_ the only company on scene.

\- Main, where the hell are those units?! – she barks over her radio.

A few seconds later, Main explains there’s a big pileup a few blocks from where they are that is delaying the units’ assigned to their location.

\- Damn it! – Brett says, stomping her foot on the ground. She’s starting to believe this shift is cursed when a siren echoes through the cold air, and a familiar voice calls out on the radio.

\- Ambulance 99 to 61, we’re two minutes out.

Sylvie takes a deep breath.

\- Thank God – she cheers before responding – Copy that, 99. As soon as you guys get here, take over triage. We’ve got a lot of inhalation victims and there might be more coming out. Remember to follow COVID protocol best you can.

\- Copy that! – Violet Lin responds firmly over the radio one minute before she parks Ambo 99 behind 61 and rushes towards Brett and Mackie.

\- Where the hell is everyone? – Violet asks when she looks around and doesn’t see any of the big red rigs.

\- Responding to a pileup a few blocks away or just stuck because of it - Brett answers whilst putting a bandage on someone’s forehead.

\- You two got these people out? - Violet looks around, impressed.

Sylvie is about to answer when a civilian close to them interrupts.

\- Did you say the fireman are not coming? Oh my God!

A commotion quickly spreads amongst the victims, so Sylvie stands up and yells for everyone’s attention before anyone decides to do anything stupid.

\- Everyone listen up! – her voice is somehow tender and firm all at once – My name is Sylvie, I’m a paramedic with the Chicago Fire Department. I know everyone’s scared, and that is normal. But you can’t let your fear control you. The firefighters are coming and will be here soon – she stresses the words “are” and “will” – but until then, we need your help. Take deep breaths and stay calm. Keep your masks on and stay away from people you don’t live with. And no matter what happens, do not go back inside. Can you do that for us? – Sylvie glances at the victims who are slowly nodding their heads positively and seem to be calming down. – Ok! This is my friend Violet – She walks over to the PIC and places a hand on her shoulder – If you are injured, feeling nausea, shortness of breath or any other kind of discomfort, come to her, ok?

Sylvie waits to see the positive nods yet again and then turns to Violet and her partner.

\- Can you two handle this? There’s still a lot of people inside but I can ask Mackie to stay back if you think you might need an extra hand.

Violet is about to respond when Courtney’s voice breaks through the radio.

\- Ambo 159 to 61, we’re three minutes out.

\- Go! – Violet says quickly.

Sylvie nods firmly and calls her partner.

\- Mackie, let’s go! – she can hear Violet talking to 159 over the radio, telling them what to do when they park whilst her partner calls out to the victims, and she relaxes a bit knowing they aren’t alone anymore.

51’s paramedics rush back into the building, instantly noticing a difference. There’s quite a bit of smoke on the first floor now, which makes the air feel thicker.

As Sylvie imagined, the news has spread quickly, and they encounter a lot of people coming down as they reach the stairs.

\- Take floors three and four, I’m going to six and seven. – Sylvie orders as they wait for a group of people to come down.

\- Got it! – Mackie responds, sprinting up with her partner.

They split up when they get to the third floor, and this time the journey up is a lot harder, not only because she’s obviously already tired, but also because it has become a lot harder to breath. When she gets to the fifth floor, she worries she might not make it to the sixth. They fire has engulfed the entire floor now, spreading through the roof, and dangerously close to the stairs.

Sylvie heard her own orders. “If you see fire, you bail”. The problem here though is that she can already glimpse a few people coming down, and right now, that is the wrong move. The right thing to do is to wait for one of the companies to get to them with the aerial ladder through one of the windows. But she’s worked with people long enough to know that unless someone is up there to stop them, they won’t stay put.

There’s no point in taking a deep breath when the air is so filled with smoke, so instead she just rushes past the flames and keeps climbing up as fast as she can, yelling for people to climb back as she goes. She can see now it was a couple who was going down the stairs, and they are confused by her orders at first, but eventually turn around and rush backwards. The three of them manage to get back to the sixth floor only a few seconds before the stairs collapse, nearly taking them down with it.

Sylvie and the woman trip on the last few steps, and the paramedic is still lying on the floor, legs shaking, when she calls out over the radio.

\- Mayday! Mayday!


	6. Stand back!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! I know it’s been a minute, I’m sorry, I’ve just been very busy. I’m also sorry in advance for the extra angst lol, but I promise it will get better next chapter. Also, I didn't really proofread this, so excuse any typos or mistakes. Enjoy!

Her voice comes through the radio just as they finally manage to get through the damn pileup, after a few century-long minutes of torture in which he had to stay focused on helping 77 and Squad 2 with the vehicles and victims whilst also keeping an ear out to what was going on with her. He had a sinking feeling in his stomach since she called Main a second time, confirming two units on fire and requesting an EMS Plan I. Yes, she could have come to that conclusion from the sidewalk, but that wouldn’t explain why she sounded so out of breath. But now, those six letters confirmed his worst fears – she was _in_ the building.

\- All units, the stairs between five and six have collapsed. There’s still a good ten people on the sixth floor and probably a few more on the seventh. I need an aerial ladder right now!

Oh God.

She isn’t only in the building. She’s _trapped in_ the building.

He feels his jaw clenching almost involuntarily, and there’s this restless feeling surging in his chest. Anger is what is called. He doesn’t want to be a jerk, but for one split second he feels like writing Sylvie up right then and there. What the hell was she thinking?!

His thoughts are interrupted by her voice again, but this time she’s not talking to them.

\- Mackie, are you ok down there?

And she is alone. Great. Fantastic. Perfect.

\- I’m good! – the young paramedic’s voice sounds through the radio – four and three are undamaged. I’m headed out with a few civilians.

\- Don’t go back in, ok? And when you get outside let someone check you out. That’s an order!

\- Copy that – he can feel Mackie’s smile in her tone of voice – are you ok?

\- I’m fine! – she answers, but once again she sounds out of breath – I’m going to take everybody upstairs and wait for the guys on seventh. It’s getting way too hot in here for my liking.

Hearing her maintain a strong and steady voice even though she’s multitasking her worry between her partner, the fire, the victims and herself does it for him. The anger phases out and is replaced by and overwhelming sense of pride. What was she thinking? She was thinking that she couldn’t let people die when she knew she could help. She was thinking she’s brave enough to risk her own life to save others, and strong enough to keep it together while doing so – which she is. He knows she is. But he also knows that despite popular belief, Sylvie Brett is not actually made of steel.

And just as quickly as it came, the pride in his chest is overthrown by something a lot heavier – fear. She has to get out of there. He has to get her out of there. Alive and safe. He’s still looking for appropriate words in the mess that are his emotions right now when another call on the radio grounds him back, but this time it isn’t her.

\- Copy that kid! Hey, don’t worry ok? The cavalry is just a few blocks out, we’ll get you out of there in no time! – Herrmann yells, and Casey can see the lieutenant’s head poking out of Engine’s 51 passenger seat window just ahead of them, trying to get a visual on the scene. It’s useless really, as he said himself, they’re still a few blocks away, but then again, everyone deals with anxiety differently.

\- All due respect lieutenant – her teasing voice sounds through the radio again – kick it in the ass, please!

Her request is lighthearted, but he knows she means it, and he can distinguish a note of fear in her tone of voice.

\- All units, you heard her. Step on it! – he finally manages to put a few words together in the best captain voice he can produce under these circumstances.

He can see chief’s buggy rushing past them on their left, speed increasing aggressively after that conversation. Not long after that, the boss’ voice asks Sylvie to brief them on the situation again.

Neither Casey nor Brett can tell how chief feels about all of this by his voice. It sounds steady and focused, but that could both be him saving the lecture for later or sharing Matt’s feelings: incredibly proud but also terrified. His analysis is interrupted as he needs to pay close attention to Sylvie’s description of the scene, so that they know what to do when they get there.

\- Fire is on the fifth floor, chief. It started on two units, but it spread fast. I got as many people out as I could, but I couldn’t check the original two units burning.

\- Squad’s on it – Severide responds – we’ll climb up with a ladder and do a quick swipe on the 5th floor and then make our way down - at this point, it is more likely that if there’s still anyone in there they’ll be recovered, not rescued, but Severide needs to make sure.

\- Severide, you don’t stay on that floor longer than five minutes, understood? – Chief orders and after the lieutenant briefly answers “copy”, Sylvie continues.

\- I’m currently on the 7th floor, apartment 7A. I’ve got at least ten civilians in here and there are more on the other units on this floor.

\- Mouch, get the aerial ladder up as soon as we get there. Gallo and Kidd, you come with me. We’re going to need all hands-on deck – even though Casey’s on the same truck as his team, he speaks through the radio so that everyone, but specially Sylvie, are aware of what they are planning. He hopes it will help her keep calm.

\- 51, water cannons to the ready! Ritter, you and I help Squad look for victims on the lower floors – Herrmann seems to understand what Casey is up to, as he yells his orders through the radio as well.

At this point they are so close to the scene he can see Boden jumping out of his car as he rushes everyone, yelling “let’s go, let’s go, let’s go!” through the radio.

He’s focused on locating the window in which Sylvie is waiting with the victims when all of a sudden Stella’s voice draws his attention back inside Truck 81.

\- Matthew I-don’t-know-your-middle-name Casey, don’t you dear touch that handle before I stop this truck or I’m reporting you this time – Stella fires, glaring at him.

He didn’t even notice his hand had reached for the door until she pointed it out. He knows she is right. He knows jumping out of a moving fire truck was a stupid move, and he knows he would have grilled any of his subordinates for doing something of the kind. He knows all of that. But knowing it doesn’t stop him from furrowing his brow in an irritated manner and sighing frustratedly.

When Stella finally hits the breaks (no, technically the truck wasn’t completely parked, but hey, that’s already an improvement from last time), he leaps off his seat, desperately looking for the window Sylvie said she’d be waiting. The blonde paramedic waves at them from said window, and he can distinguish a few people standing behind her. He can also distinguish, even from the sidewalks, the burning hell the fifth floor has turned into. They have to move and move fast.

\- Mouch, get that ladder up now! – he yells, without taking his eyes off of Sylvie.

\- On it, cap! – Mouch replies, already stretching the aerial out and positioning it towards the window Sylvie is waiting at.

They notice she turns around to face the victims inside, and as the guys did before, she turns her radio on so that everyone can hear her, even though she’s really only talking to the victims.

\- Ok everyone, listen up! The firefighters are here, and they will help you down. I know it is scary, but I need everyone to stay calm. The aerial ladder is very safe, and these guys are pros at managing it, but if you freak out mid-way, it might be a problem. So please, remain as calm as you can alright? We’ll get you out!

Just as she’s done talking, the aerial is set and ready to go, as is Casey. He climbs the damn thing as if his life depended on it, Gallo and Kidd following but many steps behind. He quickly reaches the window, slowing down in order to jump inside safely.

\- Sylvie! Sylvie are you ok? - when he finally makes it through the window, his hands instantly grab Sylvie’s arms, and his eyes instinctively search for injuries, similarly to when ambo crashed.

\- Yeah, yeah, Matt, I’m fine – she answers, gripping his elbows a bit tighter than normal, confirming to him that yes, she is fine, but she is also a bit scared – we need to get these people out of here, and there’s one apartment down the hall still closed – she then points towards the victims, and they walk a few steps away from the window - most of them are ok. There’s one lady with a twisted ankle, so we might need a backboard and stokes basket to get her down.

\- Alright, don’t worry about it. We’ll take care of it. Kidd will help you down first, and Gallo and I will…

\- What? – Sylvie interrupts him – Nu-uh, I’m not going anywhere until everyone’s out.

He doesn’t have the time or the energy to fight her on this right now, so he agrees, annoyed and amazed at the same time. Where does this woman get her courage from?

\- I’m going to check on that apartment I told you about – she starts walking towards the hallway – you guys get started here.

Sylvie is literally bossing him around right now, and she knows she’s way out of her league, but then again, she’s been since she first decided to enter the building, so if she’s going to get in trouble anyway, why not? Especially when she can still help.

She hears Casey barking orders to Gallo and Kidd who just climbed up the window before their voices get lost as she walks further down the hall, towards the apartment she mentioned. She’s almost sure it is empty, because there is a huge commotion going on right now, not to mention smoke everywhere, so it is very unlikely that anyone is still asleep in there. Either way, she has to make sure.

\- Chicago Fire Department, open up! – she yells and knocks first, waiting a few seconds. There’s no response, so she kicks the door down and walks in, yelling the same phrase, only substituting “open up!” for “anyone here?”.

Sylvie walks through the living room and the kitchen, both empty and quiet, so she moves further in. There’s a short hallway that leads to the bathrooms and bedrooms, and she takes a few steps before opening the door to what looks like the master bedroom.

Inside, a middle-aged woman is leaning against the furthest wall from the door. Sylvie can barely see her, since the room is dark and filled with smoke, but the woman holds a flashlight on one hand, which allows Sylvie to notice her. As she walks inside the bedroom and a bit closer to the woman, the paramedic notices two things: the woman is holding something else in her other hand, which she can’t quite identify, and she also looks like she’s seen a ghost. Sylvie assumes she’s scared of the fire, so she tries to sound compassionate when she begins to order the woman to get out.

\- Ma’am, I need you to leave your apartment imme…

\- Stand back! – the woman interrupts Sylvie aggressively, yelling at the PIC – you might be sick! Stand back!

For a second there, Brett was so focused on this call she forgot they were living through a pandemic, which is probably what the woman is referencing right now.

\- I’m not sick, ma’am – she answers, still trying to sound compassionate – I’m a first responder. I get tested almost every day, and I assure you, I'm negative.

\- It doesn’t matter – the woman doesn’t back down – I don’t believe in these quick fake tests you people make up just so you can go to work and make money! And it’s not just you! I’ve seen fires on TV, there’s a lot of people out there! I don’t want to die! Stand back!

Sylvie takes a deep breath. She’s a little offended on behalf of the entire body of US first responders, but she’s also amused that the woman thinks they “make money” in that sense of the word. But none of this is the point. The point is chief Boden just called through the radio saying the smoke is turning black, which means the floor below their feet could give out at any moment.

\- Ma’am, what is your name? – Sylvie asks, gently.

\- Susan – the woman answers, still aggressively.

\- Ok Susan, did you hear that? – Sylvie asks gently, pointing towards her radio – that was my chief. He said the smoke on the fifth floor is turning black. That means the fire is getting worse. We need to leave, now.

Sylvie intensifies her last words. The woman listens to her but doesn’t move from the wall.

\- I’m not going anywhere! I don’t want to get sick! I don’t want to die! – she insists, retrieving further into the bedroom.

Oh, good grief.

Sylvie tries her best to stay patient. She doesn’t know who this woman is and what kind of traumas Covid might have already brought her. But she really doesn’t have time for them right now. Neither of them do.

\- I don’t want you to die either, but if you stay here, you will! – Sylvie answers, sounding a bit firmer. This is getting out of hand – and so will I, because I won’t leave until you do.

For a split second, the woman looks like she’s going to give in, but something – maybe one of those traumas Sylvie supposes she has – crosses her mind, and she goes back to yelling.

\- Stand back!

\- Susan, please. We’ll make sure everyone stays far away from you – Sylvie takes a few steps forward.

\- Stand back! – the woman insists, now looking like she’s really about to have a panic attack.

\- Everyone is wearing masks, and you’ll be wearing one too. – she takes a few steps forward again.

\- I said stand back!

Susan raises the hand that isn’t holding the flashlight, and Sylvie finally identifies the object she'd been holding this entire time.

A gun.

And the thing with guns is that Sylvie Brett has had so many of them pointed to her face/body through her CFD years - she could actually compete with the guys over at the 21st district – that she almost forgot a little detail about them: they actually work. The only reason she made it out unharmed so many times is because no one ever actually pulled the trigger.

But today, someone did.

There’s an acute pain on the lower side of her belly, and immediately after that, she feels a hot and thick liquid wetting her clothes from the inside out.

Damn it.

As she collapses onto the floor, Sylvie’s mind goes into self-preservation mode, and the only thing it allows Sylvie to think of is how the hell something this small can hurt this badly and hit this strongly.

**Author's Note:**

> So, I first envisioned it to be a one shot only, but now that I’ve written it the whole thing sounds so deliciously complicated, I couldn't help but keep working on it rsrsrs Plus, this is angst I can actually control and am 100% sure will result in Brettsey, which is far more than I can say about the show lol  
> I hope you'll enjoy it! Let me know what you think! :D


End file.
